he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
