Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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