Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize