Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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