He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
