Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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