you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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