i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
should my penis look like a turkey
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
