Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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