He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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