we're blogging at a bar
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
