dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize