It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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