I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
