They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
