I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
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