I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize