y did u give ur computer a hand job?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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