Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
