Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
