Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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