I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
