Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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