at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize