Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
