So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
