Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
How's work?
Spinning.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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