U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I would fuck him just for his dog
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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