That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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