Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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