Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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