Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
