All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
