So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
