Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
