just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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