I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
