nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
