is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
