He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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