im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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