she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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