I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
she pinky promised me she was 18
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
