Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
