But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
