Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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