We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize