i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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