I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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