Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
And then he peed in my hair
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