I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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