ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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