He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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