i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize