I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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