I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
