actually, I'm a sock model
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
