he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
