I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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