A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
