dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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